Tip: Avoid denial. Facing conflict head on, with the intention of compassionate communication, goes a long way toward resolving conflict and bringing you closer. Intend the good for all involved.
Would you like to manage conflict in a more effective manner? Have you ever thought or been told you have a problem with anger? Do you find yourself dreading situations where you have to talk with someone about a sensitive topic when you know there are differences of opinion? Or, maybe you are the one others go out of the way to avoid because they fear you will pop off. If any of this describes you, please keep reading. There are things you can do to become a more effective conflict manager.
Conflict Defined
Long lasting romantic relationships are bound to experience conflict. Having the skills and tools necessary to manage conflict can make the difference between conflict managing you or you managing conflict. Conflict can be defined in several different ways. The following definition will help us start our discussion on the same page. According to YARN (1999), “conflict refers narrowly to a disagreement. . .” the act of disagreeing. Conflict may or may not involve hostile action. Scholars agree that we tend to have a preferred conflict management styles. Your conflict style is your “go to” way of dealing with conflict.
Conflict Styles
Wilmot and Hocker ( 2013) suggests our preferred conflict style is likely a combination of genetics, life experiences, and family influences. Most experts in the field of conflict describe five conflict styles:
- Accommodating
- Avoiding
- Competing
- Compromising
- Collaborating
Go online Google conflict styles and take one of the many conflict style questionnaires to identify your conflict style. Remember, all styles have a place in conflict management. The thing is, you want to avoid using the same style for every conflict. Learn when itis best to avoid conflict and when it is best to engage in conflict and how.
